Ok, all that hype, all that built up anxiety and flooding of emotions days before the one year mark. Then, the day arrives, September 23, 2009, and I do fine. Nothing major happens, no real crazy melt down. Just calm.
But now, there is this huge let down. I also had this crazy sensation that once that one year mark came and went, the pain would go with it....but nothing has changed. Still aching, still missing him, still having a barage of emotions that are seriously taking a physical toll on me. God, how much longer....how much longer will I feel like this? I am so tired of it, I am actually getting frustrated with myself. I want to just 'SNAP OUT' this. Can't this grief crap just be over with? I've had enough. I'm tired, I'm in pain and I just want these miserable feelings to end.