Sunday, September 20, 2009

WHAT WILL HAPPEN??!!

3 more days. 9/23/09...one entire year since the worst day of my entire life. How could it have gone by so fast? The strange feeling of it feeling just like yesterday, yet feeling like forever. What is this scary sensation that "something" will happen on the one year mark? It is causing me so much anxiety. I am trying ever so hard to keep very busy...tie up my time with yard work, house work, dinner and phone conversations with friends. I just don't want to acknowledge or think of that dreadful day...those most dreadful feelings. I'm trying to escape the pain.....can I run fast enough? Can I hide from it forever? If I live to be 100, I will have to try and elude this pain for another 58 years.......such a daunting task.
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4 comments:

  1. BooSeptember 20, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    this anniversaries ... one month, six months, wedding anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, they all seem to affect us deeply, and the one year mark is big in our minds I think because it's so damn final ... when you get beyond the year, you can no longer say this time last year blah blah blah ... it's more real? I'm dreading it (3 months to go yet) so my heart goes out to you.

    Please be with someone you love that day - a friend, relation ... just to be with them. Perhaps think about what you want to do on the day, stuff like maybe releasing balloons at sunset, lighting a candle.

    When you panic, remember: Breath, breath, be still and it will pass.

    I wish we could run from it, better still run to them. xxxxx

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  2. BooSeptember 21, 2009 at 4:03 AM

    I just found this - please click on link or copy and paste into your browser ... it's very appropriate and relevant to the one year anniversary that you are dreading, I know.

    http://opentohope.com/dealing-with-grief/grief-and-the-holidays-you-can-be-master-of-your-emotions/

    ReplyDelete
  3. BooSeptember 22, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and writing to you now, as I know that I won't get a chance to get in touch with you on the actual day.

    My gift to you tomorrow, widow to widow is this. Please click on this link. I hope you find it as calming and reassuring as I did. Thanks to J-in-Wales who wrote this post xxx

    http://bethrwan.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-thats-that.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. Beanz on ToastSeptember 23, 2009 at 3:54 AM

    Thinking of you today and wishing you some peace and some happy memories to help you through the day.
    Wendy

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