Our Favorite Holiday

I had always loved the fall...most beautiful season of all. Love the changing colors of the leaves, the crisp, cool temps. And Halloween....oh how I loved Halloween. Bob loved it too. Today, I made some copies of photos of all the crazy Halloween costumes he wore over the years. Going to make a shadow box out of them. He was like a little kid when it came to Halloween. We'd work together at locating outfits at the local thrift store and putting it together to create awsome costumes for him. Then on Halloween night, he'd rush home from work and hook up the surround sound speakers to play those spookey Halloween sounds, blare them out the window, decorate the yard with all of his wild taxidermy animals (bears, raccoon,) along with the scary masks. He had to be the one to give out the candy, cause he would hide on the porch with a string in his hand that was tied to a tree that was covered with a scary mask draped over it, and when the kids would walk up to knock on the door, he'd make the tree move as he let out a scream......He would laugh his ass off when the kids jumped and ran. God I miss him.

I have decided, bravely to have a Halloween party the week before Halloween. I am so anxious about it. He was more of a hostess then me....and knowing he wont be here to not only help out, but to celebrate with us is difficult.....so why am I even doing it? I don't know....I hope I hold up well...perhaps it's a way to "honor" his happy days.

But, fall so far has been cold and gloomy. And with it, it is bringing me down. I miss him and all the great fun he was.....He made me laugh harder then anyone I ever knew. I wish he were here right now to cheer me up. I really never knew how much I needed him in my life. I never realized, or gave it much thought actually, how empty my life would be without him. Who would ever expect anyways that a healthy young man dies. It is just all so wrong.